Any time I share something that I've created, it's already showing vulnerability so a self-portrait series feels like exposing my heart wide open. I am not afraid to be seen anymore, though. I am not afraid to let others in. Growing up, I didn't consider myself conventionally "beautiful". I thought of myself as average. A bit overweight. Nothing special. On my journey of self-love, I began to affirm that I am indeed beautiful and no longer desired to wage war on my body. I became neutral for some time. Never truly rejoicing in the fact that my body is an extension of my spirit. I was given this vessel to navigate through life and it takes care of me. My body knows when to heal itself. Speaks to me even when I am unaware. I can't change my face. I can't control how others perceive me and there's need to. I am who I am & I am so incredibly grateful. I don't always talk about the darkness that often has a hold on me. I think I have very Cancerian tendencies to retreat into isolation when I need to process my emotions + what I'm experiencing. I am trying to move away from that and really have faith that I am strong enough to stand tall in the face of darkness. I asked Spirit for guidance and the themes you see in these photos are some major things that have helped me along my journey. They all contribute to the growth in / understanding of the others.
I've struggled with Surrender for some time. I have entries in my journal 4 years ago mapping out what it means literally and figuratively, how to surrender, asking what will I need to do, what will I need to let go of, what it will feel like, etc. I came back to this concept again and again over the years, not ever feeling like I've done so completely. It was when I let go of control of trying to make things happen that they fell into place. Life is strange like that, isn't it? I was always exactly where I needed to be. I just couldn't see it at the the time.
I was motivated to do a self-portrait series because I'm usually the one behind the lens and I am soooo baffled any time my subjects say something negative about themselves or don't feel confident in how they look. I'm like... "WHAT? HOW? YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND MAGICAL AND EVERYTHING THAT'S RIGHT IN THE WORLD!" With my work, I can only reflect what is there. It takes courage to look in the mirror others are holding up and not hide or run away.
Light - Harmony - Purpose
The only reality is Oneness.
All of the things that separate us from ourselves + each other... they're not real.
You are not alone. You are not doomed to live in chaos.
You are worthy of every good thing that comes to you.
You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.